


Fallen Petals

by hnybxns



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt Steve Rogers, M/M, Pining, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 00:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14273160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hnybxns/pseuds/hnybxns
Summary: Steve dreads the times that he feels his stomach churn. There’s always that floral after taste when he finally hacked up everything. He doesn’t remember when it first started, but isolating himself from that one particular person isn’t helping the slightest bit.





	Fallen Petals

**Author's Note:**

> setting/universe: alt. universe. hanahaki disease (victim throws up flower petals as they suffer one-sided love). steve’s in his late 20′s, tony’s in his mid-late 30′s.  
> notes: please do take precaution to what was stated above, as it may possibly be triggering in any way possible. this is just a drabble of an idea that came to mind.
> 
> please let me know what you guys think  
> comments are appreciated c:

He tossed the lit match into the pile of petals that laid in the fire place, watching each and every petal burn. His face was stoic, eyes watery, hands shaking – there was a breath that was being held in. How long could he hold it? To take in the fumes of the burnt nature or to past out from the lack oxygen. Steve didn’t really know what to do already, he was lost at words for that matter. He could possibly make up any excuse, say any swear word that would push through his lips.  His lips were pressed shut as his tongue moved along the roof of his mouth to the inside of his cheeks. The pungent taste of flowers had settled in his cavern, causing himself to hurl once more. A wobbly stance Steve held, his knees locking, and back hunching. One cough, two, three-  _“Jesus.”_

The male finally cried out as his arms wrapped themselves around his chest, his nails grazed and his hands fisted the cloth that loosely fit around his frame. Throughout the whole motion, numerous petals had fell from his mouth violently, steadily trickling down to the ground. At some point, Steve’s legs gave out and he fell to his side, watching the last of the petals make their way down, breaking gravity. It was pitiful to watch each little part of a whole fall. The inside of chest clenched and it was hard to breathe. Short, quick breaths he did take. It’s as if he was laying on his own grave at this point of the long hour.

Soon enough, the petals burned into crisp little brown flakes, the warmth of the flames had hugged his sweating form as he finally threw the rest of the fallen petals into the fire pit. If Steve had known that this would happen, he would’ve dropped everything and did a u-turn back to his own personal confines. It’s not that this wasn’t heard of- he has seen this happen, he was told stories from his friends of relatives, and even saw his mother fall into the depths of this disease. It’s curable they said, but to not feel the quick skip of a beat, or a smile form towards that loved person—no thanks. Life brings these unthinkable happenings, that we must figure out how to cope with them. Yet, it’s just what Steve struggles with the most. He can’t cope with this feeling. Isn’t love for someone supposed to be warm, supposed to be bashful, supposed to bring a smile, supposed to make you forget about everything else that exists.

_‘It doesn’t work like that—This can’t work Steve,’_ It was the last words that Steve heard Tony say to him. It was in a hushed tone that’s possibly unforgettable. The breath that lingered against his ear. Tony had leaned in as they walked passed each other in the halls of the university. Steve had never turned his head so quickly before when he heard his name said from the other male.

This moment happened months ago and it still replayed in his mind over, and over, and over again. The male took his leave from the university he taught at for a bit, a ‘transferring of schools’ was the excuse. It was discrete, no one knew. Even so, leaving and not seeing the older man’s face didn’t do him much. Anything Tony was in his mind. That handsome face. Those eyes that looked dead into Steve’s own. Those hands that held his wrists above his head, they had left bruises. The kisses that they both shared was warm. But they were just fooling around. To past time, that is. It was a mistake made at the wrong time. Steve didn’t realize that these feelings were still present. Getting calls and messages from the one and only. Ignoring them all at the same time. He wasn’t ready to face the older man. Was it because of the moments of sex that they shared caused him to catch these feelings. Or was it the small seconds that they each shared a smile with one another. The warmth that filled him from within. There was peace. His heart would race every moment, for a good reason of course. It was time to move on but how could he possibly do so without leaving everything behind?

It was 10:27am when Steve hacked up another bunch of petals. These occurrences have gone on for too long. Isolating himself from Tony was not doing him justice. Or rather from any human contact in general. His hand covered his mouth, trying to hold in the hacking. Tones of pink spread throughout his cheeks and ears, throat going dry as well. In the midst of everything, the doorbell had rung. Everything began to be alarming, what to do in the middle of an attack. His heart began to race, looking left and right.

_‘What to do, what to do–’_

“Steve, open up. It’s Tony.”


End file.
